Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thanks for the good night
Thank you for coming out last night!!!
It was great to see you there to celebrate yet another year of my life.
you guys are so thoughtful.
The cheesecake, was amazing!!!! thank you chris! ^^
It was great to see you there to celebrate yet another year of my life.
you guys are so thoughtful.
The cheesecake, was amazing!!!! thank you chris! ^^
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
untitled
It hasn't dawned on me yet, how life will be, as a lone individual, placed in a country where I have no connections, no friends. In an environment where I have never set foot on before.
I am, I know, nervous of this experience, yet both excited an interested at the same time.
There is so much for me to learn There is so much that I can build upon.
I know that the field of teaching, is not a job that you do perfect in day one. Rather, it is a profession where your skills can be refined over the years, as gold is refined through the fire. Of course, only if the gold is willing to be refined.
How did things happen so fast?
It seemed like only yesterday, and it is likely that within two short months, I will be on my way to the other side of the world.
What will I do to keep in touch with my friends here? What can I do to keep the relationships running? I know that for some, time and space does not move or sway, or lessen the relationship, but without communication, there is no understanging. And, where are we if there is no understanding?
I must confess that it is I who is lacking contributing with time and effort. I know that I have said this bfore, but have also failed to perform any substantial actions to better strengthen and build those relationships. And, if these are people who are so close to me, who live jus down the street, who live just a 15 minute drive away.... how will I fare when I am 4,000 kilometeres, a 14 hour plane flight away? It will take that much more time and effort on my part to make up those contributions.
I know that perhaps I am being more worrisome than things really are. I have freinds who I don't see that often, and we can hang out for the weekend (bow)!!
If things do happen... this will be my first time out and away. As in really being on my own.
Let's keep in touch.
I am, I know, nervous of this experience, yet both excited an interested at the same time.
There is so much for me to learn There is so much that I can build upon.
I know that the field of teaching, is not a job that you do perfect in day one. Rather, it is a profession where your skills can be refined over the years, as gold is refined through the fire. Of course, only if the gold is willing to be refined.
How did things happen so fast?
It seemed like only yesterday, and it is likely that within two short months, I will be on my way to the other side of the world.
What will I do to keep in touch with my friends here? What can I do to keep the relationships running? I know that for some, time and space does not move or sway, or lessen the relationship, but without communication, there is no understanging. And, where are we if there is no understanding?
I must confess that it is I who is lacking contributing with time and effort. I know that I have said this bfore, but have also failed to perform any substantial actions to better strengthen and build those relationships. And, if these are people who are so close to me, who live jus down the street, who live just a 15 minute drive away.... how will I fare when I am 4,000 kilometeres, a 14 hour plane flight away? It will take that much more time and effort on my part to make up those contributions.
I know that perhaps I am being more worrisome than things really are. I have freinds who I don't see that often, and we can hang out for the weekend (bow)!!
If things do happen... this will be my first time out and away. As in really being on my own.
Let's keep in touch.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
there is time....
I've found the time to post a blog. More like, decided to use my time to post a blog.
Things have been moving! swell!
They are on the improving!
We did a soil lab today, and I think the students enjoyed that portion of the lab. It was probably the most engaging part, because the students got to go 'investigate' the pH of the soil!
I'm also doing a lab tomorrow. Acid Rain, and planting seeds. I really hope that things work out!
*fingers crossed*
Things have been moving! swell!
They are on the improving!
We did a soil lab today, and I think the students enjoyed that portion of the lab. It was probably the most engaging part, because the students got to go 'investigate' the pH of the soil!
I'm also doing a lab tomorrow. Acid Rain, and planting seeds. I really hope that things work out!
*fingers crossed*
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Planning
Is training!
Definitely a way that helps me stay focused and on task. Only, some parts are easier than others. Of course, there's no free lunch. And, i do think that what i put into it, is what i will get out of it.
Let the planning marathon continue!
Definitely a way that helps me stay focused and on task. Only, some parts are easier than others. Of course, there's no free lunch. And, i do think that what i put into it, is what i will get out of it.
Let the planning marathon continue!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
away from home?
as in, many, many miles away?
think I could do that? Perhaps for a new experience or for the prospects of having a job...
the job hunt does continue, and how far am I willing ot go to have my hands on one?
It is possible that I will have an offer to work overseas.
It's time for me to really consider.
think I could do that? Perhaps for a new experience or for the prospects of having a job...
the job hunt does continue, and how far am I willing ot go to have my hands on one?
It is possible that I will have an offer to work overseas.
It's time for me to really consider.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
meeting someone new
So, I've me someone new, someone that I've never come across before in my life.
Someone, that I think carries with them a lot of experiences, humiliation, roughness, being scorned and of course to be who they are, they are tough.
she's really tall. gets clothes from tall girls.
somehow, i feel that i admire her and at the same time, have a whole surge of other feelings... pity? sadness? wanting to reach out and share a bit of my heart?
I'm not too sure.
Today was a really good day. I had a chance to have somewhat of a heart-to-heart talk with my teach. Having faith, and having a purpose. For the little smaller things to count more than the huge grand ending/grand purpose.
And most of all, i thank you.
You helped me get through my roughest days. Adding on that bit of oil that i need to smoothen out the rough patches. You remind me that this is a practice session, and well, in order to practice, of course i need to make mistakes, and i need to learn from them!
I know that i need to look at failure in a positive light. And, of course, if I don't fail, how can i learn? If I don't think that I'm not doing well, how can I actually improve?
And, another thing: for me to take the time to realize what I really enjoy doing, what I really want to do in life. I want to become more than I already am. I want to get off my lazy ass and become that person who is responsible and lives up to my expectations.
Anyways, needt o get back to work. ciao.
Someone, that I think carries with them a lot of experiences, humiliation, roughness, being scorned and of course to be who they are, they are tough.
she's really tall. gets clothes from tall girls.
somehow, i feel that i admire her and at the same time, have a whole surge of other feelings... pity? sadness? wanting to reach out and share a bit of my heart?
I'm not too sure.
Today was a really good day. I had a chance to have somewhat of a heart-to-heart talk with my teach. Having faith, and having a purpose. For the little smaller things to count more than the huge grand ending/grand purpose.
And most of all, i thank you.
You helped me get through my roughest days. Adding on that bit of oil that i need to smoothen out the rough patches. You remind me that this is a practice session, and well, in order to practice, of course i need to make mistakes, and i need to learn from them!
I know that i need to look at failure in a positive light. And, of course, if I don't fail, how can i learn? If I don't think that I'm not doing well, how can I actually improve?
And, another thing: for me to take the time to realize what I really enjoy doing, what I really want to do in life. I want to become more than I already am. I want to get off my lazy ass and become that person who is responsible and lives up to my expectations.
Anyways, needt o get back to work. ciao.
Monday, March 9, 2009
a few quotes
Right now, these quotes are so heart warming:
"you need to add oil. tigres are the king of the forests. don't get scared of the little bunnies"
-Lz
09.03.09
"Tests alone can't evaluate teachers."
(Gerald Bracey, researcher/writer in education matters)
"Correction does much, but encouragement does more."
(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)
"Never fail to know that if you are doing all the talking, you are boring somebody."
(Helen Gurley Brown) [From Sanderson Smith, via Rex Boggs]
"To succeed, you must first improve; to improve, you must first practice; to practice, you must first learn; to learn, you must first fail"
(Wesley Woo) [From Sanderson Smith, via Rex Boggs and Jonathan Lundell]
"Fail again. Fail better."
(Jonathan Lundell)
---------
Most of these quotes just cut straight to the chase, right through to the heart.
Learning encouragement. I want to learn encouragement.
Giving second chances. If I believe in giving second chances, then I must act it.
"you need to add oil.
both figurtively and actually
there is no rough patch which some good old WD40 can't smoothen.
-Lz
09.03.09
"Tests alone can't evaluate teachers."
(Gerald Bracey, researcher/writer in education matters)
"Correction does much, but encouragement does more."
(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)
"Never fail to know that if you are doing all the talking, you are boring somebody."
(Helen Gurley Brown) [From Sanderson Smith, via Rex Boggs]
"To succeed, you must first improve; to improve, you must first practice; to practice, you must first learn; to learn, you must first fail"
(Wesley Woo) [From Sanderson Smith, via Rex Boggs and Jonathan Lundell]
"Fail again. Fail better."
(Jonathan Lundell)
---------
Most of these quotes just cut straight to the chase, right through to the heart.
Learning encouragement. I want to learn encouragement.
Giving second chances. If I believe in giving second chances, then I must act it.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Sea shells by the Seashore
I needed some sort of Paint Program to help me edit a diagram I found on the Internets for a class. I wanted to blank out the words .... And, well... Mac's don't have a microsoft Paint equivalent built into/installed on the machine so i did some hunting.
I stumbled across a blog that mentioned a few programs and after looking at the screen shots of a few: Tux Paint (for children), Pixen, Artrage, I decided on: Seashore.
And, it's pretty cool!! ^^
here's the link: http://seashore.sourceforge.net/
And, I should be nice and thank Mathieu for the advice.
I stumbled across a blog that mentioned a few programs and after looking at the screen shots of a few: Tux Paint (for children), Pixen, Artrage, I decided on: Seashore.
And, it's pretty cool!! ^^
here's the link: http://seashore.sourceforge.net/
And, I should be nice and thank Mathieu for the advice.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Children's Books
A Voweller's Bestiary
This book is an amazingly wonderful book full of lippograms.
The uniqueness of the book is that the poems are based on the different combinations of vowels.
There are 32 different combinations available by 5 vowels (order doesn't matter). What the author, Jonarno Lawson, has done is that each word in each poem will contain the combination.
For example, in the poem that has the combination: o, a and u
all the words in this poem will have the vowels: o, a and u.
in addition to this, each poem is based on a particular animal, hence, the 'bestiary'.
the title of the poem that contains: o, a and u is
Orangutans, Toucans
glamorous toucans
outsoar coucals
so i'll give you the first 2 lines of the poem.
This is just facinating! And, many thanks to my Mathematics Instructor for this amazing idea. There are so many connections that can be made form this book. Such as, connecting poetry to mathematics. And connecting poetry to ecology and the investigation of animals!
This book is an amazingly wonderful book full of lippograms.
The uniqueness of the book is that the poems are based on the different combinations of vowels.
There are 32 different combinations available by 5 vowels (order doesn't matter). What the author, Jonarno Lawson, has done is that each word in each poem will contain the combination.
For example, in the poem that has the combination: o, a and u
all the words in this poem will have the vowels: o, a and u.
in addition to this, each poem is based on a particular animal, hence, the 'bestiary'.
the title of the poem that contains: o, a and u is
Orangutans, Toucans
glamorous toucans
outsoar coucals
so i'll give you the first 2 lines of the poem.
This is just facinating! And, many thanks to my Mathematics Instructor for this amazing idea. There are so many connections that can be made form this book. Such as, connecting poetry to mathematics. And connecting poetry to ecology and the investigation of animals!
Monday, February 23, 2009
one thing off my list
This is a great way to express thyself.
now i realize why i have time to be here on this blog and rite about these things - I'm living alone!!!
Anyways, I am done my biology assignment. And, to my slight disappointment, it's not as 'great' as it could be... but heck, given the time and the time that i'm willing (or not) to invest into it. it is what it is.
My time will be spent towards trying to get my foot into the Ministry to Education.
Good luck to me!
now i realize why i have time to be here on this blog and rite about these things - I'm living alone!!!
Anyways, I am done my biology assignment. And, to my slight disappointment, it's not as 'great' as it could be... but heck, given the time and the time that i'm willing (or not) to invest into it. it is what it is.
My time will be spent towards trying to get my foot into the Ministry to Education.
Good luck to me!
hard to concentrate....
HI!!!!!!
IT'S REALLY HARD TO CONCENTRATE..... cos, i have ants in my pants. I feel so jittery and jumpy.
I have an assignment due to tomorrow... but i also have more important things that are due... such as writing samples for ministries who 'might' hire me... and that is EXCITING!!!!
job application forms to send of..... acck!
IT'S REALLY HARD TO CONCENTRATE..... cos, i have ants in my pants. I feel so jittery and jumpy.
I have an assignment due to tomorrow... but i also have more important things that are due... such as writing samples for ministries who 'might' hire me... and that is EXCITING!!!!
job application forms to send of..... acck!
lost and found
i was stressing over my lost tigger... oh where could he be? i looked everywhere for him... in the drawers, on the bed, under the covers, on top of the drawers, inside the show boxes...
he was nowhere to be found!
and then, i decided to lift up my mattress and the piece of ply wood...
and there he was -- hiding!!!!
tigger has been a very bad boy! He's been in the dark for such a long time!! It's good to have him back! I had to give him lots of pats (spanks) to rid him of all the dust that he must collected.
that's another weight of my chest.
have a few assignments i need to work on...
i'm hoping to get them done......
he was nowhere to be found!
and then, i decided to lift up my mattress and the piece of ply wood...
and there he was -- hiding!!!!
tigger has been a very bad boy! He's been in the dark for such a long time!! It's good to have him back! I had to give him lots of pats (spanks) to rid him of all the dust that he must collected.
that's another weight of my chest.
have a few assignments i need to work on...
i'm hoping to get them done......
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Teaching in Singapore...
This has ben a topic that's come up between Chris and I, and I do find the prospects of it quite appealing.
See, Singapore is like a hub - the central location of all the SouthEast Asian countries: Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, Laos, Philippines... and Wikipedia has taught me that there are a few more countries that are there (which I don't know of: Timor, Brunei and Myanmar). And then, it's so close to Japan, Korea and Hong Kong. It'll be a great place to be to travel. Sighhhh. Travel... Now, the question is: will working in Singapore give me enough money to travel?
I suppose I will find out. There's an information session on Monday given by the Ministry of Singapore. I'm interested. I'm not sure if I'll be jetting this year, but we'll see what happens. Really, it's not on my 'to do list' right now, but it's definitely something that I will consider... if someone goes with me! ^^
And, if we can go together, it will be such a great experience.
See, Singapore is like a hub - the central location of all the SouthEast Asian countries: Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, Laos, Philippines... and Wikipedia has taught me that there are a few more countries that are there (which I don't know of: Timor, Brunei and Myanmar). And then, it's so close to Japan, Korea and Hong Kong. It'll be a great place to be to travel. Sighhhh. Travel... Now, the question is: will working in Singapore give me enough money to travel?
I suppose I will find out. There's an information session on Monday given by the Ministry of Singapore. I'm interested. I'm not sure if I'll be jetting this year, but we'll see what happens. Really, it's not on my 'to do list' right now, but it's definitely something that I will consider... if someone goes with me! ^^
And, if we can go together, it will be such a great experience.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
ON.. What Teachers Make.
missyau posted a video of this a while ago, and being back at a school has brought this poem to
the forefront of my mind.
It's called 'what teachers make' written by Taylor Mali (a teacher in the states).
A link to his poem is: http://www.taylormali.com/index.cfm?webid=13
He also has a youtube video of him reciting it.. i highly recommend it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxsOVK4syxU
I don't know how to embed a video... and if you know, leave a comment.
the forefront of my mind.It's called 'what teachers make' written by Taylor Mali (a teacher in the states).
A link to his poem is: http://www.taylormali.com/index.cfm?webid=13
He also has a youtube video of him reciting it.. i highly recommend it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxsOVK4syxU
I don't know how to embed a video... and if you know, leave a comment.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
it is i...
perhaps it is i, who has caused you most pain.
i who has hurt you the most.
my heart grieves. what has been done cannot be undone.
what has passed by, we can no longer go back to grasp.
my heart is dying.
suffocating, perhaps.
turn to ashes.
what is there that I can do to make things better?
i am not sure that there is anything that i can do.
not sure if anything that i do do will make a difference.
because i cannot undo what i have already done.
we can not relive what we have already lived.
it is too bad. too bad.
yet the word bad does not describe the least magnitude of how i feel.
i wonder how you feel.
it is horrid. to live in this state.
to perpetually think of these things.
nothing we do in the future will subside those of the past.
nothing we attempt in the future will repress, wash over, cover and go over
what has come of the past.
and those were my actions.
those were my thoughts.
those were the actions that i did out of impulse.
and so, i will pay the consequences.
and i have paid. yet it is not enough.
i will continue to pay, dearly.
edit:
sorry i made you worry!!!! ^^
I'm alright, really! (yah, yah, i know you don't believe me).
But thanks for your comforts!
i who has hurt you the most.
my heart grieves. what has been done cannot be undone.
what has passed by, we can no longer go back to grasp.
my heart is dying.
suffocating, perhaps.
turn to ashes.
what is there that I can do to make things better?
i am not sure that there is anything that i can do.
not sure if anything that i do do will make a difference.
because i cannot undo what i have already done.
we can not relive what we have already lived.
it is too bad. too bad.
yet the word bad does not describe the least magnitude of how i feel.
i wonder how you feel.
it is horrid. to live in this state.
to perpetually think of these things.
nothing we do in the future will subside those of the past.
nothing we attempt in the future will repress, wash over, cover and go over
what has come of the past.
and those were my actions.
those were my thoughts.
those were the actions that i did out of impulse.
and so, i will pay the consequences.
and i have paid. yet it is not enough.
i will continue to pay, dearly.
edit:
sorry i made you worry!!!! ^^
I'm alright, really! (yah, yah, i know you don't believe me).
But thanks for your comforts!
ah...
yes, the need to survive.
the need to provide myself with the basic necessities of Maslow's Triangle.
I will continue on.
it is a positive sign. i must put in the effort and time to complete that which i think is most difficult.
the need to provide myself with the basic necessities of Maslow's Triangle.
I will continue on.
it is a positive sign. i must put in the effort and time to complete that which i think is most difficult.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Mega Armour in Action!!
So, I've finished painting and decorating my big, bad, green Mega Armour dudes!!!
I seriously need to get a camera of some sort.
Oh, and i also painted a few of those burna boyz.
spent the Family Day, well, with family! we playeded a few games together...
other than that, i feel really.. 'meh' i've been in the house all day. Perhaps I what i feel is all the pent up energy from not doing anything. and, that's translating into being tired and sleep and a bit grumpy...
one more thing: getting a moon cup has resurfaced my mind again... ^^
I seriously need to get a camera of some sort.
Oh, and i also painted a few of those burna boyz.
spent the Family Day, well, with family! we playeded a few games together...
other than that, i feel really.. 'meh' i've been in the house all day. Perhaps I what i feel is all the pent up energy from not doing anything. and, that's translating into being tired and sleep and a bit grumpy...
one more thing: getting a moon cup has resurfaced my mind again... ^^
Thursday, February 12, 2009
my lack of writing
yes, fei is right.
I have been writing very infrequently. perhaps i should blog more to keep you posted (you as in YOU, reader!!!).
And, thus i shall. Let's try this...
oh darn.. need to write another cover letter. will resume blogging asap....
btw, fei - i like the layout of your blog - and the header picture. ^^
edit:
okay, so back to my update... i finished an assignment for my educational psychology class. It was quite fun writing it. Right now, I'm reading a book called: "Three wishes: Palestinian and Israeli children Speak - Deborah Ellis". I"ll have some review questions to answer in response to the book. The book is quite interesting. It's pretty much a compilation of interviews with Palestinian and Israeli children, alternating between the two ethnic groups. They talk abotu their experiences, their life in Israel. It's pretty chaotic. With the war, guards, soldiers, bombings.
I'm also working on my Ork Army!
I've gotten a lot of new additions! I took a few pictures on my one and only existing camera that i can upload to a computer: my iphone cam. I'll get them transferred another time and show them of later.
night!
I have been writing very infrequently. perhaps i should blog more to keep you posted (you as in YOU, reader!!!).
And, thus i shall. Let's try this...
oh darn.. need to write another cover letter. will resume blogging asap....
btw, fei - i like the layout of your blog - and the header picture. ^^
edit:
okay, so back to my update... i finished an assignment for my educational psychology class. It was quite fun writing it. Right now, I'm reading a book called: "Three wishes: Palestinian and Israeli children Speak - Deborah Ellis". I"ll have some review questions to answer in response to the book. The book is quite interesting. It's pretty much a compilation of interviews with Palestinian and Israeli children, alternating between the two ethnic groups. They talk abotu their experiences, their life in Israel. It's pretty chaotic. With the war, guards, soldiers, bombings.
I'm also working on my Ork Army!
I've gotten a lot of new additions! I took a few pictures on my one and only existing camera that i can upload to a computer: my iphone cam. I'll get them transferred another time and show them of later.
night!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
need more painting
Now that i've got one resume submitted...
i need to start working on my next set.
And, i miss painting!!! Speaking of which, i should get one of those 'fishing' boxes to sort all the bits and pieces that i have from my Ork army.
Yes, i should post a picture of my work one day....
I still have:
- 5 burna boyz to finish painting
-20 ork boyz, 1 killa kan, to assemble, prime & paint
-5 mega armored nobz to 'deal' with. See, i painted 4 of them previously, and have decided that I don't like the way i painted them. They yellow too bright, etc. etc. plainly put: i didn't put much effort into painting them, and it shows on the models. These metal models need to be stripped of the paint. We got some paint thinner form Home Depot... but it's not working.... hmm.. i think we need to go some other sort of 'thinner'.
-20 shoota boyz to touch up
-and ALL my bases to paint!!! (and this is for about another 25 models in addition to the ones above)
That's a LOT of work!!
Hopefully, i'll be able to get some painting done over the weekend.
i need to start working on my next set.
And, i miss painting!!! Speaking of which, i should get one of those 'fishing' boxes to sort all the bits and pieces that i have from my Ork army.
Yes, i should post a picture of my work one day....
I still have:
- 5 burna boyz to finish painting
-20 ork boyz, 1 killa kan, to assemble, prime & paint
-5 mega armored nobz to 'deal' with. See, i painted 4 of them previously, and have decided that I don't like the way i painted them. They yellow too bright, etc. etc. plainly put: i didn't put much effort into painting them, and it shows on the models. These metal models need to be stripped of the paint. We got some paint thinner form Home Depot... but it's not working.... hmm.. i think we need to go some other sort of 'thinner'.
-20 shoota boyz to touch up
-and ALL my bases to paint!!! (and this is for about another 25 models in addition to the ones above)
That's a LOT of work!!
Hopefully, i'll be able to get some painting done over the weekend.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
ms. stress ball
So, here i am sitting.
the things we learned in my psych ed class are just racing thorough my mind as I think about myself and the amount of effort i am putting into this cover letter business.
The thing about being praised of 'being smart' or a 'natural', a 'talent', 'intelligent'... opposed to being praised ' you worked hard' or 'good work' or 'you tried very hard'. Studies show that students who were praised 'you're smart, etc' were less likely to want challenges and were less likely to thrive and be resistant to setbacks than students who were praised for their hard/good work. The reasoning behind this is those who were priased of being a natural talent or are intelligent believe that they have something to live up to.. that they need to continue to have such a performance.
Am i feeling that now. You see, if i need to put A LOT of effort into something, doesn't that mean that I am not smart enough, because i need to put SO much effort into it? Or, if i put effort into something, and it's not good, or the results that come from it do not demonstrate that i am indeed 'intelligent, or am a talent, or that i am smart', then I am not living up to what I have been praised for: being smart. So if i am not smart... what am i?
No, no.. there's no way that i could be stupid....
and, this goes on and on.
so, i suppose that i believe i am smart, and that i am capable. Now then, why is it so damn difficult? I feel that I am putting in a lot of effort, and i am definitely putting in a lot of time. why am i not getting any results? am i realy not trying hard enough? I think that's it's not posible that i'm stupid... so, i just give up. because, putting any more effort.. is too much effort for my 'intelligent' self to exert. It's just better to self-handicap than to have to face any evidence that will support 'i am not intelligent or capable'.
i don't know which is more breaking: the realization that I am not succeeding, or the realization that i have such a mode of thought. Either way, the facts aren't good.
damn it.
well, enough of this.
I need to work on my applications.
the things we learned in my psych ed class are just racing thorough my mind as I think about myself and the amount of effort i am putting into this cover letter business.
The thing about being praised of 'being smart' or a 'natural', a 'talent', 'intelligent'... opposed to being praised ' you worked hard' or 'good work' or 'you tried very hard'. Studies show that students who were praised 'you're smart, etc' were less likely to want challenges and were less likely to thrive and be resistant to setbacks than students who were praised for their hard/good work. The reasoning behind this is those who were priased of being a natural talent or are intelligent believe that they have something to live up to.. that they need to continue to have such a performance.
Am i feeling that now. You see, if i need to put A LOT of effort into something, doesn't that mean that I am not smart enough, because i need to put SO much effort into it? Or, if i put effort into something, and it's not good, or the results that come from it do not demonstrate that i am indeed 'intelligent, or am a talent, or that i am smart', then I am not living up to what I have been praised for: being smart. So if i am not smart... what am i?
No, no.. there's no way that i could be stupid....
and, this goes on and on.
so, i suppose that i believe i am smart, and that i am capable. Now then, why is it so damn difficult? I feel that I am putting in a lot of effort, and i am definitely putting in a lot of time. why am i not getting any results? am i realy not trying hard enough? I think that's it's not posible that i'm stupid... so, i just give up. because, putting any more effort.. is too much effort for my 'intelligent' self to exert. It's just better to self-handicap than to have to face any evidence that will support 'i am not intelligent or capable'.
i don't know which is more breaking: the realization that I am not succeeding, or the realization that i have such a mode of thought. Either way, the facts aren't good.
damn it.
well, enough of this.
I need to work on my applications.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
gaming
a 23 dollar box of models.... has an entertainment duration of about 8 - 10 hours.
hmmm.
interesting thought.
hmmm.
interesting thought.
Wall.E
is so cute!
And, i have my walle!! ^^ It's in my head!!
I feel homesick, except the 'sick'ness is not for home. I miss kissy! a lot. I think i've become a bit reliant. and, that is a gross understatement.
you know, when you get this pit in your tummy/gut, or heart (but it feels lower than the heart, more like the stomach) ... and then your head thinks of a single entitiy. And, you associate the pit with the entity. Well, that's what's happening. 'cept the entity isn't 'home'.
and, i'm worried. I think i double booked. I thought I'm going to ski trip ealier this friday, but I just put the two-and two together, that i am supposed to meet with student friday afternoon.
so, i called them asking if they want to move it to wednesday. let's cross our fingers and hope that she's free on wed.
otherwise, i'll have to stay in T.O. until 430pm. and, that means all the other people will need to stay too? Or, i could try to do something else, like go over to their house on an evening.
oh der.. this is going to be ugly. methinks.
And, i have my walle!! ^^ It's in my head!!
I feel homesick, except the 'sick'ness is not for home. I miss kissy! a lot. I think i've become a bit reliant. and, that is a gross understatement.
you know, when you get this pit in your tummy/gut, or heart (but it feels lower than the heart, more like the stomach) ... and then your head thinks of a single entitiy. And, you associate the pit with the entity. Well, that's what's happening. 'cept the entity isn't 'home'.
and, i'm worried. I think i double booked. I thought I'm going to ski trip ealier this friday, but I just put the two-and two together, that i am supposed to meet with student friday afternoon.
so, i called them asking if they want to move it to wednesday. let's cross our fingers and hope that she's free on wed.
otherwise, i'll have to stay in T.O. until 430pm. and, that means all the other people will need to stay too? Or, i could try to do something else, like go over to their house on an evening.
oh der.. this is going to be ugly. methinks.
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