meeting someone new

So, I've me someone new, someone that I've never come across before in my life.

Someone, that I think carries with them a lot of experiences, humiliation, roughness, being scorned and of course to be who they are, they are tough.

she's really tall. gets clothes from tall girls.

somehow, i feel that i admire her and at the same time, have a whole surge of other feelings... pity? sadness? wanting to reach out and share a bit of my heart?

I'm not too sure.



Today was a really good day. I had a chance to have somewhat of a heart-to-heart talk with my teach. Having faith, and having a purpose. For the little smaller things to count more than the huge grand ending/grand purpose.


And most of all, i thank you.
You helped me get through my roughest days. Adding on that bit of oil that i need to smoothen out the rough patches. You remind me that this is a practice session, and well, in order to practice, of course i need to make mistakes, and i need to learn from them!
I know that i need to look at failure in a positive light. And, of course, if I don't fail, how can i learn? If I don't think that I'm not doing well, how can I actually improve?


And, another thing: for me to take the time to realize what I really enjoy doing, what I really want to do in life. I want to become more than I already am. I want to get off my lazy ass and become that person who is responsible and lives up to my expectations.

Anyways, needt o get back to work. ciao.

a sense of .... homesickness?

I miss my family.

it's been a while since I've had this feeling, but I miss their presence.

I don't miss a lot of things, but just in this moment when my guard is down, when I'm leeting my emotions get to me (and i know I am), I miss them really bad. I want to hug my tigger, and my pooh bear. and snuggle them until I fall asleep.

that sounds like a good plan.

time flies

We're already going into the first week of October. time flies.

will talk later about trip.

night.

Yoga and Meditation

I'm new to this. And, apparently, not very good at keeping up the practice.

I should set aside a time, and schedule it in, says my instructor - so when the time comes, there is no chance for a conversation of "i can't do this because...."

I guess I'll go do that.

Affected-ness

At this moment in time, I'm trying to get SAW I, II & IV from torrents. And, the obtaining process has been very slow due to the fact that there have been POWER OUTAGES today ALL DAY. We will have everything in our house that is powered by electricity - and i meant everything suddenly click-out and die on us, and then to have it booted back to life several minutes later. And then, have this repeat every 30-90 minutes. Yes, I agree that having outages that last 3-7 minutes is better than not having electricty for 3-7 hours, but I don't find this to be particularly entertaining - esp. having to reboot my WINDOWS PC, wait 2minutes for it to boot and wait again for the log-in and start-up.

And, how is this related to affected-ness?

it has everything to do with affected-ness. It's rather unfortunate, i think, but I am a person so easily affected by things. People, feelings, happenings, turn outs of events - you name it, and unless I am very apathetic towards it, I will likely be affected by it. Hence, my emotional life is like riding the Behemoth all the time.
I'll try not to take things that aren't even mine so close to heart. It's hard - really, I don't try to let these things get to me, and somehow they just find a way. But even so, I will try to shield myself from it's powerful pull. So, that my emotional life isn't always like Behemoth - but, more like taking a walk on the beach.

snap shots

i want a camera, so i can take snapshots of everything/anything i want, whenever i want.

I miss having a camera to use for myself. But, when I do have one, i go craaaazy!
But, that's okay, I hope 100GB will be enough storage space!

excited for the weekend!

The Weather Network tells me that ....

the weather is going to be AMAZING this WEEKEND!!!!!!

and, i'm sooo excited!!! w0000t!!! it's going to be GREAT and FANTABULOUS!!!

i'm going camping with a few friends this weekend - and the weather is going to be nice!!!! YAY!

Let's just hope that it really does stay the way the weather network claims! *knock in wood*

Supposedly asleep

but i am wide awake.

Did i mention that i should be sleeping? Well, I should because I have a training course that's a zilion hours long and I need to be energetic for that course.

People are such interesting creaties. Not only do we expect and reailze, we also choose to do things that are not the
most beneficial, or beneficial at all.

And, perhaps I will go to bed.

People

Are such a curious thing.

and i mean, very curious, curious thing. 

Both that we are curious, but we are curious. 

people contracdict themselves, people disappoint themselves, and people upset themselves.

And, what for?

Perhaps the question is more of a 'why' rather than 'what for'. Perhaps it's because people expect things of themselves. And, people also realize. And perhaps there happens to be a discrepancy between the two and hence all those things that people do to themselves. So, why do people expect in the first place then? 

my train of thought has decided to end right about here.

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what am I going to do with myself from how until September? It's a little ridiculous to just sit here and not do something very productive. On the other hand, I do want to just sit here and do nothing, and pass the time. I do know that if I do, it will likely be the last chance that I have to do so. But, it is greatly displeasing to have someone hag at you to go get a job, and not laze at home all day, waking up at grotesquely afternoon hours and sleeping at the ghastly dawn hours of the morning. 

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i want to go someplace warm and sunny. Preferably where there is soft, soft sand. It's alright if there's no sand at all, but if there is - it needs to be soft. If it's not soft, then I'd rather have no sand. ANd, i'm lying there soaking up the sun. On a blanket atop the soft sands, or on a beach bench atop nothing. Suspended in mid-air. 

Ah, Lovely.