More recently, I think I've come to realize reality.
The reality of the working world. That this is how much of my time and life it will consume. That I will ne to put in this much, if I want to achieve proportionate amounts.
You see, I never thought that my job included many of the things that I am currently doing. It has been rather difficult for the last six months to try to get used to the culture here. Or, perhaps that was the excuse that I was giving myself. As a newbie on the job, I was lucky and was given only a portion of the responsibilities of that of a regular.
When January rolled around the corner, lo and behold, i was not longer treated as a newbie. With six months under the belt, I was given the full responsibility. And, boy, did that shock, stun and surprise me all at the same time. I felt overwhelmed and flabbergasted with all the responsibilities that were expected of me. Note, not even something that was considered beyond expectations... this was just meeting it.
I know that I've been fighting it. Fighting the different working hours, the holidays that we did/did not get, the different customs, the different responsibilities, etc, etc., etc....
Somewhere ... the red pill dawned on me, subconsciously, perhaps. Somewhere and somehow, I stopped fighting it. I didn't want to feel bitter and bicker about it anymore. I was a bit sick of complaining. I found that I enjoyed myself much more. I put more of myself into doing what I did. Put more thought into planning and executing the things that I'd planned.
the last few weeks have been really crazy. I'm finding it hard to find the energy to study after coming home from a 12,13 hour day at work.
Experienced a lot of first-times this year. My first time preparing a lecture for 800 students. My first time making an announcement in front of 800 students. I must have rehearsed it at least 5 times before going to bed, and another 5 times before presenting it. It was nerve-wracking. It's been a long time since I've felt those pangs of nervousness speaking in public, but after speaking for a few a little while, it seemed so natural. I am happy that it went well.
I think I'm reaching the point where I feel like I'm about to break, but I only find that I don't. Instead, i get stretched. The more I take on, the more I'll be able to take on. it's scary.
I feel like i'm about to burn out, but I find that I don't.
rest is almost around the corner. June is coming.
I can't wait to go home.
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
New School Year
Quite pumped up and excited about this new year,
and looking forward to it!
Hope things will continue to go well!
and looking forward to it!
Hope things will continue to go well!
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Story of Stuff
The Story of Stuff
Posted using ShareThis
Got this through an e-mail Chris sent me, there's a pretty good flash video about 'stuff', all the stuff that we have and the stuff that we use. I think it's a really excellent video for students to watch during an environment lesson.
"Slow Death by Rubber Duck" is a Canadian Bestseller and another source where we can learn more about stuff.
At the same time that it's made me aware of how the stuff that we use pollutes us, I'm feeling a bit skeptical (and perhaps 'hopeless' is a better word) about change. I would love for the world to change... but my vision of that was shattered a while ago. I used to think that we could eradicate poverty. But I've lost hope in that. maybe there's too much greed in this world. But even if there isn't, all it takes is just one bad apple...
During training today, the facilitator mentioned that the main aim of community service groups is termination. After mulling over that a bit, I agree with him (maybe not for ALL organizations, but for many). We initiate charity organizations, non-profit organizations because we see a need for them. A few examples are: Let'sSTOPAIDS, Cancer Foundations, homeless shelters... these all aim to help people who are in need and I do think that they want to terminate whatever is causing the problem. To: StopAids, Cure Cancer, and get people off the streets.
We have a universal education right by UNESCO to help eradicate poverty... so many things are put in place in hopes of stopping the harm that humans have caused. But do all these solutions address the root of the problems?
I know that a lot of people are trying to right many wrongs. A lot of people are doing a lot of good out there, and I believe that their efforts are helping and in part in the making of making this world a better place.... but there are big stakeholders that don't budge. There are so many examples of such stakeholders and as cynical as I am, our "good-doing" are midgets compared to the big giants.
Every time I want to make a change and initiate something, I hit this block.
Maybe I need a little more faith. Just a little more faith.......
Posted using ShareThis
Got this through an e-mail Chris sent me, there's a pretty good flash video about 'stuff', all the stuff that we have and the stuff that we use. I think it's a really excellent video for students to watch during an environment lesson.
"Slow Death by Rubber Duck" is a Canadian Bestseller and another source where we can learn more about stuff.
At the same time that it's made me aware of how the stuff that we use pollutes us, I'm feeling a bit skeptical (and perhaps 'hopeless' is a better word) about change. I would love for the world to change... but my vision of that was shattered a while ago. I used to think that we could eradicate poverty. But I've lost hope in that. maybe there's too much greed in this world. But even if there isn't, all it takes is just one bad apple...
During training today, the facilitator mentioned that the main aim of community service groups is termination. After mulling over that a bit, I agree with him (maybe not for ALL organizations, but for many). We initiate charity organizations, non-profit organizations because we see a need for them. A few examples are: Let'sSTOPAIDS, Cancer Foundations, homeless shelters... these all aim to help people who are in need and I do think that they want to terminate whatever is causing the problem. To: StopAids, Cure Cancer, and get people off the streets.
We have a universal education right by UNESCO to help eradicate poverty... so many things are put in place in hopes of stopping the harm that humans have caused. But do all these solutions address the root of the problems?
I know that a lot of people are trying to right many wrongs. A lot of people are doing a lot of good out there, and I believe that their efforts are helping and in part in the making of making this world a better place.... but there are big stakeholders that don't budge. There are so many examples of such stakeholders and as cynical as I am, our "good-doing" are midgets compared to the big giants.
Every time I want to make a change and initiate something, I hit this block.
Maybe I need a little more faith. Just a little more faith.......
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Getting ready...
Alright, big day tomorrow!
A bit nervous, a bit jumpy for the big day!
:)
I guess it's a good thing.
A bit nervous, a bit jumpy for the big day!
:)
I guess it's a good thing.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Another Year, A Fresh Start
I guess this is the really neat part about my job.
Every year is a fresh page, a new start.
This year will be different. It seems as if it is my "real" year. I get to start right from the start (opposed to in the middle as I did last year).
I meet them on Monday. I'm nervous, and I know it's normal. For my anyways.
After stepping out of the boardroom today, I felt overwhelmed. I know that it was just a feeling, and that it was from the nature of the situation: an information overload. It was, in a way, necessary for everyone to understand everything in a short period of time, because that was the only time left for information transfer. Now that it's a few hours and a movie later, I feel a bit better.
I have a better understanding of where things fit in on the timeline.
It will be busy, sometimes crazy busy, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the connections and bonds that I will make, the new friendships, and rekindling the oldships.
Every year is a fresh page, a new start.
This year will be different. It seems as if it is my "real" year. I get to start right from the start (opposed to in the middle as I did last year).
I meet them on Monday. I'm nervous, and I know it's normal. For my anyways.
After stepping out of the boardroom today, I felt overwhelmed. I know that it was just a feeling, and that it was from the nature of the situation: an information overload. It was, in a way, necessary for everyone to understand everything in a short period of time, because that was the only time left for information transfer. Now that it's a few hours and a movie later, I feel a bit better.
I have a better understanding of where things fit in on the timeline.
It will be busy, sometimes crazy busy, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the connections and bonds that I will make, the new friendships, and rekindling the oldships.
Friday, December 25, 2009
A Merry Christmas
Came home from a very filled Christmas day. I think this is one of the fullest that I've ha, at least from what I can remember.
Lunch Buffet with a good family here in Singapore. They have been so kind, warm and welcoming, long before I even set foot on Singapore soil. I am very grateful and fortunate to have had such lovely hospitality from them. In a land where I know no one, it is very nice to have someone reach out their helping hands to you.
After spending my lunch with the wonderful family, they drove me home and I prepared to set off for my next celebration with the dear friends that I've made in Singapore. Ann Marie invited me to her house for Christmas Dinner. My ignorance did not serve me well. Nor did my bad manners. They were very fine people indeed to embrace the situation despite my ignorance and my bad manners. Big people with big hearts. I am lucky to have these people around me, to support me and be here in Singapore with me. It was a lovely Christmas spent with them indeed. To come to think of it, I think that was one of my first Christmas Dinners where there was turkey, ham and a fully blown meal. Thank you for allowing me to experience that in Singapore.
On my way home, I was greeted by a nice taxi man who wished me a very merry christmas when I stepped into the cab. Very nice way to end the evening.
Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will head out to the University for my first Chemistry tutorial. I want to learn something and get something from that session, so I will. :)
As 2009 draws to an end, I wonder to myself, what will 2010 bring? One thing that I have learnt, if I want something, I can't still, wait and wish for it to come to me. I need to go out and GET it.
Lunch Buffet with a good family here in Singapore. They have been so kind, warm and welcoming, long before I even set foot on Singapore soil. I am very grateful and fortunate to have had such lovely hospitality from them. In a land where I know no one, it is very nice to have someone reach out their helping hands to you.
After spending my lunch with the wonderful family, they drove me home and I prepared to set off for my next celebration with the dear friends that I've made in Singapore. Ann Marie invited me to her house for Christmas Dinner. My ignorance did not serve me well. Nor did my bad manners. They were very fine people indeed to embrace the situation despite my ignorance and my bad manners. Big people with big hearts. I am lucky to have these people around me, to support me and be here in Singapore with me. It was a lovely Christmas spent with them indeed. To come to think of it, I think that was one of my first Christmas Dinners where there was turkey, ham and a fully blown meal. Thank you for allowing me to experience that in Singapore.
On my way home, I was greeted by a nice taxi man who wished me a very merry christmas when I stepped into the cab. Very nice way to end the evening.
Tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow I will head out to the University for my first Chemistry tutorial. I want to learn something and get something from that session, so I will. :)
As 2009 draws to an end, I wonder to myself, what will 2010 bring? One thing that I have learnt, if I want something, I can't still, wait and wish for it to come to me. I need to go out and GET it.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Welcome 2010
As 2009 draws to an end...
Thinking back unto this year. So many things have happened. It seems that drastic changes have taken place with the snap of fingers. Time has flown by, really like the blink of an eye.
I had set out to accomplish several things when I set out on my journey to a country half-way across the world, alone, away from my family and friends. I had made promises to my friends, my loved ones, and myself. I was thinking of evaluating how far I'd come in achieving those goals and promises, but am deciding against doing that. After reading a blog about keeping new years resolutions, I think i'm going to have a different approach to this resolution setting thing. And thus, not really a need to evaluate my own progress in lieu of the "new year", because my goals have nothing to do with the new year.
I would like to write about an inspiration from Karen Au regarding about how I count my days. It was really something that struck a chord somewhere. To count my days with the connections that I make and break. Thanks for sharing that.
I've also written somewhere before, and more recently, remember talking to someone about the one ting that i've learned. And that this, if I want something, I need to go and get it. It doesn't necessarily mean snatching or forcefully taking. It does mean I need to be assertive, and at times even a little aggressive in taking action to get what I want done.
Another lesson about 'doing things' that I need to remember is that doing something (even though it might turn out not as great as one would have hoped/wanted) is better than not doing anything at all. I've found that with my numerous encounters with friends and family, my final decision of action ends up being: nothing. I don't take any action because I don't want to make a wrong move, I don't want to make things worse than they already are. I would like to remedy the situation, but I don't know how I can go about ensuring that my actions will really make things better instead of worse. And working within the time constraints (because actions need to be taken within a certain time frame of the event to be effective) is not my strength. Most times, I am slow at thinking of good solutions or actions to take. By the time I come up with a solution, the time to action has already long gone. The end results ends up being the same - that the action is: nothing.
More recently, i've noticed that my inaction speaks louder than my actions. Or at least, I think that they leave a longer lasting impressions. Not necessarily for the better. I think because when i display 'inaction', the message that is received/perceived from the other party is that of apathy, lack of support, that I don't care. I also forget that silence most of the time means silent consent. When I am silent, I am thinking and trying to analyze what the person's just said. I also forget that the person I'm talking to doesn't know this, and I forget to tell them that I'm thinking about what they've just said. I spend a lot of silent moments trying to think of how to express my ideas (or perhaps I might agree with some of your p.o.v, but not entirely). But, I take a bit too long, and the time has passed and we've already moved onto another topic. The person having taken my "silence" as consent to their p.o.v. A wee bit problematic, innit?
The list continues, but it's a bit boring talking about all this social conundrums and how they fit (or don't) into my life. I know that some of my friends would say: Knowing and accepting is the first step. True. now, let's try to take the next step.
I'm looking forward to 2010. Looking forward to learning about life and what it brings. It's as good as we make it, and I'm looking forward to making it a good one, regardless of the ups and downs that it might throw at me. Much easier said than done. But whatever happens, life will go on with or without you. We need to move on.
Thinking back unto this year. So many things have happened. It seems that drastic changes have taken place with the snap of fingers. Time has flown by, really like the blink of an eye.
I had set out to accomplish several things when I set out on my journey to a country half-way across the world, alone, away from my family and friends. I had made promises to my friends, my loved ones, and myself. I was thinking of evaluating how far I'd come in achieving those goals and promises, but am deciding against doing that. After reading a blog about keeping new years resolutions, I think i'm going to have a different approach to this resolution setting thing. And thus, not really a need to evaluate my own progress in lieu of the "new year", because my goals have nothing to do with the new year.
I would like to write about an inspiration from Karen Au regarding about how I count my days. It was really something that struck a chord somewhere. To count my days with the connections that I make and break. Thanks for sharing that.
I've also written somewhere before, and more recently, remember talking to someone about the one ting that i've learned. And that this, if I want something, I need to go and get it. It doesn't necessarily mean snatching or forcefully taking. It does mean I need to be assertive, and at times even a little aggressive in taking action to get what I want done.
Another lesson about 'doing things' that I need to remember is that doing something (even though it might turn out not as great as one would have hoped/wanted) is better than not doing anything at all. I've found that with my numerous encounters with friends and family, my final decision of action ends up being: nothing. I don't take any action because I don't want to make a wrong move, I don't want to make things worse than they already are. I would like to remedy the situation, but I don't know how I can go about ensuring that my actions will really make things better instead of worse. And working within the time constraints (because actions need to be taken within a certain time frame of the event to be effective) is not my strength. Most times, I am slow at thinking of good solutions or actions to take. By the time I come up with a solution, the time to action has already long gone. The end results ends up being the same - that the action is: nothing.
More recently, i've noticed that my inaction speaks louder than my actions. Or at least, I think that they leave a longer lasting impressions. Not necessarily for the better. I think because when i display 'inaction', the message that is received/perceived from the other party is that of apathy, lack of support, that I don't care. I also forget that silence most of the time means silent consent. When I am silent, I am thinking and trying to analyze what the person's just said. I also forget that the person I'm talking to doesn't know this, and I forget to tell them that I'm thinking about what they've just said. I spend a lot of silent moments trying to think of how to express my ideas (or perhaps I might agree with some of your p.o.v, but not entirely). But, I take a bit too long, and the time has passed and we've already moved onto another topic. The person having taken my "silence" as consent to their p.o.v. A wee bit problematic, innit?
The list continues, but it's a bit boring talking about all this social conundrums and how they fit (or don't) into my life. I know that some of my friends would say: Knowing and accepting is the first step. True. now, let's try to take the next step.
I'm looking forward to 2010. Looking forward to learning about life and what it brings. It's as good as we make it, and I'm looking forward to making it a good one, regardless of the ups and downs that it might throw at me. Much easier said than done. But whatever happens, life will go on with or without you. We need to move on.
起初的愛心
Found this playing in on my shuffle list.
It hit a chord and resonated with a certain string. 起初的愛心.
尋回起初的愛心
如我的心被冷冰封鎖 我無力關心他人
重記主恩為我竟犧牲 請你重燃我心
回望我主十架中犧牲 我流淚為何忘掉救恩
求你賜恩讓我可更生 重建舊日的愛
重拾信心 尋回起初的愛心
原來主愛未離棄 眷顧我已成就救恩
重建愛心 敬拜我主用盡我心
獻上我一生作活祭 我要以你愛服待人
重拾信心 尋回失落了的心
原來主愛沒嫌棄 挽救我已尋獲永生
重建愛心 敬拜我主用盡我心
獻上我一生作活祭 我要以你愛服侍人
Thanks to Hasan for the Link.
Credits to:
尋回起初的愛心 – 新曙光教會
作曲 朱仔
填詞 朱仔
主唱 鄧婉玲
監製 林少聰
錄音 鄧婉玲 @ 有聲奶昔
It hit a chord and resonated with a certain string. 起初的愛心.
尋回起初的愛心
如我的心被冷冰封鎖 我無力關心他人
重記主恩為我竟犧牲 請你重燃我心
回望我主十架中犧牲 我流淚為何忘掉救恩
求你賜恩讓我可更生 重建舊日的愛
重拾信心 尋回起初的愛心
原來主愛未離棄 眷顧我已成就救恩
重建愛心 敬拜我主用盡我心
獻上我一生作活祭 我要以你愛服待人
重拾信心 尋回失落了的心
原來主愛沒嫌棄 挽救我已尋獲永生
重建愛心 敬拜我主用盡我心
獻上我一生作活祭 我要以你愛服侍人
Thanks to Hasan for the Link.
Credits to:
尋回起初的愛心 – 新曙光教會
作曲 朱仔
填詞 朱仔
主唱 鄧婉玲
監製 林少聰
錄音 鄧婉玲 @ 有聲奶昔
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Are things...
Really as messed up as they seem?
I mean, I'm not talking about that sort of messed up, but the other sort of messed up.
It's been five months now, and have I fulfilled or achieved my goals? Any of them?
truth be told. no. i hope that it's a 'not yet'.
I mean, I'm not talking about that sort of messed up, but the other sort of messed up.
It's been five months now, and have I fulfilled or achieved my goals? Any of them?
truth be told. no. i hope that it's a 'not yet'.
Friday, October 23, 2009
backwards
it is good to realize and understand that, for the longest time, I have been stuck in the past.
Caught up.
Fixated, without really knowing it. it catches me unawares. Or, I was aware, but consciously chose to ignore and pretend that it was not.
It's almost liberating to know that perhaps this is what is hindering me. Holding me back, preventing me from taking leaps forward.
We've all heard that our past will shape our future. But, little did I realize that by using the little experience that I have as a benchmark, how greatly I am limiting my future.
Look beyond oneself, look at the experience of those around me in addition to my own. Seems quite straightforward and quite common-sensical to most, but there are the few of us to take a little longer to realize and catch up.
Caught up.
Fixated, without really knowing it. it catches me unawares. Or, I was aware, but consciously chose to ignore and pretend that it was not.
It's almost liberating to know that perhaps this is what is hindering me. Holding me back, preventing me from taking leaps forward.
We've all heard that our past will shape our future. But, little did I realize that by using the little experience that I have as a benchmark, how greatly I am limiting my future.
Look beyond oneself, look at the experience of those around me in addition to my own. Seems quite straightforward and quite common-sensical to most, but there are the few of us to take a little longer to realize and catch up.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Pondering
Having been going through a different phase during work recently. It's exam/test-taking time, and life at work is a lot different than the past 11-12 weeks.
Things are going pretty slow - time is given to us to mark, mark and mark.
And, during these times, I feel pockets of "free time" where I'm not too sure what to do with myself. Perhaps it is the nature of the beast, but there's only so much one can mark before they lose focus and can't help but so something else, like I'm doing now.
Last week, at least I was partially productive, picking up my MCAT book during my free time. But, when Sunday rolled around, I just didn't feel like listening to Physics and studying it. Yes, it is my weakest subject, and it is the one that I should be concentrating on... because I don't really like it, and becuase that is one of the main areas that I am ridiculously weak in.
In a more recent conversation with Chris... it's been a while since I've had the opportunity to speak with someone about deep philosophical ponderings. I remember the last time I really went into a deep conversation ... was with Ju, about religion, love. I miss that.
I miss it... a lot.
I'm thirsting for it. I think, being in Singapore... with noone that I really know, don't feel comfortable enough with to really talk about things that are beneath the surface... (don't get me wrong, I'm really happy that i do have a regular group of people that I can get together and hang out with). You know when you feel those pangs of ... yearning for something. some sort of release, to get the hell out of this place... to run out into the sun, and to just do something to release all the pent up energy.. that's exactly how I am feeling right now. How I long for someone here to understand what's going on through my mind.... and to have someone who has similar desires and goals as I do.
I really miss being able to talk to my close ones back in Toronto. I really do.
Things are going pretty slow - time is given to us to mark, mark and mark.
And, during these times, I feel pockets of "free time" where I'm not too sure what to do with myself. Perhaps it is the nature of the beast, but there's only so much one can mark before they lose focus and can't help but so something else, like I'm doing now.
Last week, at least I was partially productive, picking up my MCAT book during my free time. But, when Sunday rolled around, I just didn't feel like listening to Physics and studying it. Yes, it is my weakest subject, and it is the one that I should be concentrating on... because I don't really like it, and becuase that is one of the main areas that I am ridiculously weak in.
In a more recent conversation with Chris... it's been a while since I've had the opportunity to speak with someone about deep philosophical ponderings. I remember the last time I really went into a deep conversation ... was with Ju, about religion, love. I miss that.
I miss it... a lot.
I'm thirsting for it. I think, being in Singapore... with noone that I really know, don't feel comfortable enough with to really talk about things that are beneath the surface... (don't get me wrong, I'm really happy that i do have a regular group of people that I can get together and hang out with). You know when you feel those pangs of ... yearning for something. some sort of release, to get the hell out of this place... to run out into the sun, and to just do something to release all the pent up energy.. that's exactly how I am feeling right now. How I long for someone here to understand what's going on through my mind.... and to have someone who has similar desires and goals as I do.
I really miss being able to talk to my close ones back in Toronto. I really do.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Leaving for SG
that i am, that i am!!
I'll be leaving June 7th. It'll be in three weeks form tomorrow. I was talking to Ju yesterday, and it seems so close, but so far away.
There are so many things I want to do before I go, so many things to do, like pack and things. But, there's so little time!
I am starting to appreciate time. To appreciative thinking about what I need to do. Appreciative of planning. I think, that the last week was the first time where every morning, I'd thinking about the things that i needed to do that day, and then every night, i'd think about all the things that i needed to do the next day, and a few days ahead. I'm working on it.
Lots of things to do.
MD school is a thought that is lurking at the back of my mind. i'll explore it more when I'm in SG.
I'll be leaving June 7th. It'll be in three weeks form tomorrow. I was talking to Ju yesterday, and it seems so close, but so far away.
There are so many things I want to do before I go, so many things to do, like pack and things. But, there's so little time!
I am starting to appreciate time. To appreciative thinking about what I need to do. Appreciative of planning. I think, that the last week was the first time where every morning, I'd thinking about the things that i needed to do that day, and then every night, i'd think about all the things that i needed to do the next day, and a few days ahead. I'm working on it.
Lots of things to do.
MD school is a thought that is lurking at the back of my mind. i'll explore it more when I'm in SG.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Staying on top of things...
someone is not really on the ball with things.
I need an organizer.
I carry too many things. too many redundant things.
we talked about a few things - getting an organizer that i carry with me everywhere - one of those with a pen attached so I will always have something to write in. And then, contemplating investing in a blackberry. So, i will have everything in one. not a separate pda or a calender and contacts, a seaprate phone, a separate music player. I wonder if i can get the blackberry to do a google calender function: to email me all the events that I have that week.
anywho. maybe i'll talk to hei about it tmr.
I need an organizer.
I carry too many things. too many redundant things.
we talked about a few things - getting an organizer that i carry with me everywhere - one of those with a pen attached so I will always have something to write in. And then, contemplating investing in a blackberry. So, i will have everything in one. not a separate pda or a calender and contacts, a seaprate phone, a separate music player. I wonder if i can get the blackberry to do a google calender function: to email me all the events that I have that week.
anywho. maybe i'll talk to hei about it tmr.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Thanks for the good night
Thank you for coming out last night!!!
It was great to see you there to celebrate yet another year of my life.
you guys are so thoughtful.
The cheesecake, was amazing!!!! thank you chris! ^^
It was great to see you there to celebrate yet another year of my life.
you guys are so thoughtful.
The cheesecake, was amazing!!!! thank you chris! ^^
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
untitled
It hasn't dawned on me yet, how life will be, as a lone individual, placed in a country where I have no connections, no friends. In an environment where I have never set foot on before.
I am, I know, nervous of this experience, yet both excited an interested at the same time.
There is so much for me to learn There is so much that I can build upon.
I know that the field of teaching, is not a job that you do perfect in day one. Rather, it is a profession where your skills can be refined over the years, as gold is refined through the fire. Of course, only if the gold is willing to be refined.
How did things happen so fast?
It seemed like only yesterday, and it is likely that within two short months, I will be on my way to the other side of the world.
What will I do to keep in touch with my friends here? What can I do to keep the relationships running? I know that for some, time and space does not move or sway, or lessen the relationship, but without communication, there is no understanging. And, where are we if there is no understanding?
I must confess that it is I who is lacking contributing with time and effort. I know that I have said this bfore, but have also failed to perform any substantial actions to better strengthen and build those relationships. And, if these are people who are so close to me, who live jus down the street, who live just a 15 minute drive away.... how will I fare when I am 4,000 kilometeres, a 14 hour plane flight away? It will take that much more time and effort on my part to make up those contributions.
I know that perhaps I am being more worrisome than things really are. I have freinds who I don't see that often, and we can hang out for the weekend (bow)!!
If things do happen... this will be my first time out and away. As in really being on my own.
Let's keep in touch.
I am, I know, nervous of this experience, yet both excited an interested at the same time.
There is so much for me to learn There is so much that I can build upon.
I know that the field of teaching, is not a job that you do perfect in day one. Rather, it is a profession where your skills can be refined over the years, as gold is refined through the fire. Of course, only if the gold is willing to be refined.
How did things happen so fast?
It seemed like only yesterday, and it is likely that within two short months, I will be on my way to the other side of the world.
What will I do to keep in touch with my friends here? What can I do to keep the relationships running? I know that for some, time and space does not move or sway, or lessen the relationship, but without communication, there is no understanging. And, where are we if there is no understanding?
I must confess that it is I who is lacking contributing with time and effort. I know that I have said this bfore, but have also failed to perform any substantial actions to better strengthen and build those relationships. And, if these are people who are so close to me, who live jus down the street, who live just a 15 minute drive away.... how will I fare when I am 4,000 kilometeres, a 14 hour plane flight away? It will take that much more time and effort on my part to make up those contributions.
I know that perhaps I am being more worrisome than things really are. I have freinds who I don't see that often, and we can hang out for the weekend (bow)!!
If things do happen... this will be my first time out and away. As in really being on my own.
Let's keep in touch.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
meeting someone new
So, I've me someone new, someone that I've never come across before in my life.
Someone, that I think carries with them a lot of experiences, humiliation, roughness, being scorned and of course to be who they are, they are tough.
she's really tall. gets clothes from tall girls.
somehow, i feel that i admire her and at the same time, have a whole surge of other feelings... pity? sadness? wanting to reach out and share a bit of my heart?
I'm not too sure.
Today was a really good day. I had a chance to have somewhat of a heart-to-heart talk with my teach. Having faith, and having a purpose. For the little smaller things to count more than the huge grand ending/grand purpose.
And most of all, i thank you.
You helped me get through my roughest days. Adding on that bit of oil that i need to smoothen out the rough patches. You remind me that this is a practice session, and well, in order to practice, of course i need to make mistakes, and i need to learn from them!
I know that i need to look at failure in a positive light. And, of course, if I don't fail, how can i learn? If I don't think that I'm not doing well, how can I actually improve?
And, another thing: for me to take the time to realize what I really enjoy doing, what I really want to do in life. I want to become more than I already am. I want to get off my lazy ass and become that person who is responsible and lives up to my expectations.
Anyways, needt o get back to work. ciao.
Someone, that I think carries with them a lot of experiences, humiliation, roughness, being scorned and of course to be who they are, they are tough.
she's really tall. gets clothes from tall girls.
somehow, i feel that i admire her and at the same time, have a whole surge of other feelings... pity? sadness? wanting to reach out and share a bit of my heart?
I'm not too sure.
Today was a really good day. I had a chance to have somewhat of a heart-to-heart talk with my teach. Having faith, and having a purpose. For the little smaller things to count more than the huge grand ending/grand purpose.
And most of all, i thank you.
You helped me get through my roughest days. Adding on that bit of oil that i need to smoothen out the rough patches. You remind me that this is a practice session, and well, in order to practice, of course i need to make mistakes, and i need to learn from them!
I know that i need to look at failure in a positive light. And, of course, if I don't fail, how can i learn? If I don't think that I'm not doing well, how can I actually improve?
And, another thing: for me to take the time to realize what I really enjoy doing, what I really want to do in life. I want to become more than I already am. I want to get off my lazy ass and become that person who is responsible and lives up to my expectations.
Anyways, needt o get back to work. ciao.
Monday, March 9, 2009
a few quotes
Right now, these quotes are so heart warming:
"you need to add oil. tigres are the king of the forests. don't get scared of the little bunnies"
-Lz
09.03.09
"Tests alone can't evaluate teachers."
(Gerald Bracey, researcher/writer in education matters)
"Correction does much, but encouragement does more."
(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)
"Never fail to know that if you are doing all the talking, you are boring somebody."
(Helen Gurley Brown) [From Sanderson Smith, via Rex Boggs]
"To succeed, you must first improve; to improve, you must first practice; to practice, you must first learn; to learn, you must first fail"
(Wesley Woo) [From Sanderson Smith, via Rex Boggs and Jonathan Lundell]
"Fail again. Fail better."
(Jonathan Lundell)
---------
Most of these quotes just cut straight to the chase, right through to the heart.
Learning encouragement. I want to learn encouragement.
Giving second chances. If I believe in giving second chances, then I must act it.
"you need to add oil.
both figurtively and actually
there is no rough patch which some good old WD40 can't smoothen.
-Lz
09.03.09
"Tests alone can't evaluate teachers."
(Gerald Bracey, researcher/writer in education matters)
"Correction does much, but encouragement does more."
(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)
"Never fail to know that if you are doing all the talking, you are boring somebody."
(Helen Gurley Brown) [From Sanderson Smith, via Rex Boggs]
"To succeed, you must first improve; to improve, you must first practice; to practice, you must first learn; to learn, you must first fail"
(Wesley Woo) [From Sanderson Smith, via Rex Boggs and Jonathan Lundell]
"Fail again. Fail better."
(Jonathan Lundell)
---------
Most of these quotes just cut straight to the chase, right through to the heart.
Learning encouragement. I want to learn encouragement.
Giving second chances. If I believe in giving second chances, then I must act it.
Monday, February 23, 2009
lost and found
i was stressing over my lost tigger... oh where could he be? i looked everywhere for him... in the drawers, on the bed, under the covers, on top of the drawers, inside the show boxes...
he was nowhere to be found!
and then, i decided to lift up my mattress and the piece of ply wood...
and there he was -- hiding!!!!
tigger has been a very bad boy! He's been in the dark for such a long time!! It's good to have him back! I had to give him lots of pats (spanks) to rid him of all the dust that he must collected.
that's another weight of my chest.
have a few assignments i need to work on...
i'm hoping to get them done......
he was nowhere to be found!
and then, i decided to lift up my mattress and the piece of ply wood...
and there he was -- hiding!!!!
tigger has been a very bad boy! He's been in the dark for such a long time!! It's good to have him back! I had to give him lots of pats (spanks) to rid him of all the dust that he must collected.
that's another weight of my chest.
have a few assignments i need to work on...
i'm hoping to get them done......
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
it is i...
perhaps it is i, who has caused you most pain.
i who has hurt you the most.
my heart grieves. what has been done cannot be undone.
what has passed by, we can no longer go back to grasp.
my heart is dying.
suffocating, perhaps.
turn to ashes.
what is there that I can do to make things better?
i am not sure that there is anything that i can do.
not sure if anything that i do do will make a difference.
because i cannot undo what i have already done.
we can not relive what we have already lived.
it is too bad. too bad.
yet the word bad does not describe the least magnitude of how i feel.
i wonder how you feel.
it is horrid. to live in this state.
to perpetually think of these things.
nothing we do in the future will subside those of the past.
nothing we attempt in the future will repress, wash over, cover and go over
what has come of the past.
and those were my actions.
those were my thoughts.
those were the actions that i did out of impulse.
and so, i will pay the consequences.
and i have paid. yet it is not enough.
i will continue to pay, dearly.
edit:
sorry i made you worry!!!! ^^
I'm alright, really! (yah, yah, i know you don't believe me).
But thanks for your comforts!
i who has hurt you the most.
my heart grieves. what has been done cannot be undone.
what has passed by, we can no longer go back to grasp.
my heart is dying.
suffocating, perhaps.
turn to ashes.
what is there that I can do to make things better?
i am not sure that there is anything that i can do.
not sure if anything that i do do will make a difference.
because i cannot undo what i have already done.
we can not relive what we have already lived.
it is too bad. too bad.
yet the word bad does not describe the least magnitude of how i feel.
i wonder how you feel.
it is horrid. to live in this state.
to perpetually think of these things.
nothing we do in the future will subside those of the past.
nothing we attempt in the future will repress, wash over, cover and go over
what has come of the past.
and those were my actions.
those were my thoughts.
those were the actions that i did out of impulse.
and so, i will pay the consequences.
and i have paid. yet it is not enough.
i will continue to pay, dearly.
edit:
sorry i made you worry!!!! ^^
I'm alright, really! (yah, yah, i know you don't believe me).
But thanks for your comforts!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
my lack of writing
yes, fei is right.
I have been writing very infrequently. perhaps i should blog more to keep you posted (you as in YOU, reader!!!).
And, thus i shall. Let's try this...
oh darn.. need to write another cover letter. will resume blogging asap....
btw, fei - i like the layout of your blog - and the header picture. ^^
edit:
okay, so back to my update... i finished an assignment for my educational psychology class. It was quite fun writing it. Right now, I'm reading a book called: "Three wishes: Palestinian and Israeli children Speak - Deborah Ellis". I"ll have some review questions to answer in response to the book. The book is quite interesting. It's pretty much a compilation of interviews with Palestinian and Israeli children, alternating between the two ethnic groups. They talk abotu their experiences, their life in Israel. It's pretty chaotic. With the war, guards, soldiers, bombings.
I'm also working on my Ork Army!
I've gotten a lot of new additions! I took a few pictures on my one and only existing camera that i can upload to a computer: my iphone cam. I'll get them transferred another time and show them of later.
night!
I have been writing very infrequently. perhaps i should blog more to keep you posted (you as in YOU, reader!!!).
And, thus i shall. Let's try this...
oh darn.. need to write another cover letter. will resume blogging asap....
btw, fei - i like the layout of your blog - and the header picture. ^^
edit:
okay, so back to my update... i finished an assignment for my educational psychology class. It was quite fun writing it. Right now, I'm reading a book called: "Three wishes: Palestinian and Israeli children Speak - Deborah Ellis". I"ll have some review questions to answer in response to the book. The book is quite interesting. It's pretty much a compilation of interviews with Palestinian and Israeli children, alternating between the two ethnic groups. They talk abotu their experiences, their life in Israel. It's pretty chaotic. With the war, guards, soldiers, bombings.
I'm also working on my Ork Army!
I've gotten a lot of new additions! I took a few pictures on my one and only existing camera that i can upload to a computer: my iphone cam. I'll get them transferred another time and show them of later.
night!
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