this is going to sound a bit too emo for my regular self....
but perhaps i am not my normal self at the moment.
where the hell are you when i need you?
f...
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday, May 3, 2010
healthy living..
There's so much to healthy living.
I have a goal... and that is before I leave to country to go home, I will be satisfied with the way that I look in my swimsuit!
I got myself some dumbbells (they're light, 2kg each). Hopefully that will help tone my arms a bit. I don't exactly want to be pumping iron.. don't want manly arms, just toned.
And, in addition to that... is the thing that I really don't like the most: watching what I eat. and keeping track that I burn more than I eat. Counting... is such a hassle.
And, planning. There is so much planning involved in being healthy! E.g. what are you going to eat in the morning, what are you going to eat for a snack, for lunch... and dinner (well, I guess that's a little easier cos I'm at home - but what about when I'm at school?) Where do I get all that food from?!
Aside from the hassle of getting the right foods (really not something that one can find at liberty within school grounds), I've really enjoyed the exercising part! Over the last couple of days at least. I did get quite a bit of marking (i.e. work) done but I also did weights everyday and I ran or swam!
It's been god. It feels good to swim - I swam 400m on Saturday (a first time swimming that much in one session). I can't wait to get back to the pool and swim again! Maybe on Wed... we'll see. And running... I'm so glad that I have the school track to run on. Running on the pavement is really hard on my toes. That, or my socks aren't thick enough. One of my left toes keep blistering, and I'm only doing about 2k. Speaking of which, I didn't even get to 2k today... i went ot for a run at 1:30pm. Don't think I'll be doing that again.. it was shady when I left the house, by the time I got to the park connector, the sun was blazing... it was so hot. Usually, there's a lot of shade along the park connector, but not the angle that the sun is at one-thirty in the afternoon.
We'll see how long I can keep this up... I'll keep you posted about the progress. We'll see if we end up looking any different. One month - maybe, maybe not.
I have a goal... and that is before I leave to country to go home, I will be satisfied with the way that I look in my swimsuit!
I got myself some dumbbells (they're light, 2kg each). Hopefully that will help tone my arms a bit. I don't exactly want to be pumping iron.. don't want manly arms, just toned.
And, in addition to that... is the thing that I really don't like the most: watching what I eat. and keeping track that I burn more than I eat. Counting... is such a hassle.
And, planning. There is so much planning involved in being healthy! E.g. what are you going to eat in the morning, what are you going to eat for a snack, for lunch... and dinner (well, I guess that's a little easier cos I'm at home - but what about when I'm at school?) Where do I get all that food from?!
Aside from the hassle of getting the right foods (really not something that one can find at liberty within school grounds), I've really enjoyed the exercising part! Over the last couple of days at least. I did get quite a bit of marking (i.e. work) done but I also did weights everyday and I ran or swam!
It's been god. It feels good to swim - I swam 400m on Saturday (a first time swimming that much in one session). I can't wait to get back to the pool and swim again! Maybe on Wed... we'll see. And running... I'm so glad that I have the school track to run on. Running on the pavement is really hard on my toes. That, or my socks aren't thick enough. One of my left toes keep blistering, and I'm only doing about 2k. Speaking of which, I didn't even get to 2k today... i went ot for a run at 1:30pm. Don't think I'll be doing that again.. it was shady when I left the house, by the time I got to the park connector, the sun was blazing... it was so hot. Usually, there's a lot of shade along the park connector, but not the angle that the sun is at one-thirty in the afternoon.
We'll see how long I can keep this up... I'll keep you posted about the progress. We'll see if we end up looking any different. One month - maybe, maybe not.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
The same question...
Over and over again....
What is it that I really want?
It is that same question, over and over again... that crops up...
that I don't know how to answer... that I cannot answer because I don't have the answers to it.
What is it that I really want?
It is that same question, over and over again... that crops up...
that I don't know how to answer... that I cannot answer because I don't have the answers to it.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Days passing by...
The last few weeks have been quite hectic. I come home at seven or eight in the evening, take my supper and continue to work into the night.
It just seems that the days are passing by way too fast. It's almost been a year - it's gone by way too fast...
I want to slow time down. Imagine a hercules trying to slow the spin of the earth, to slow the passing of time, yet not slow the events.
It's already almost been a quarter century, and sometimes I think to myself: what have I accomplish, what have I achieved? I begin many things without mastering.
Anyways, just my thoughts.. Life is really too short for it to just pass by... So much I want to do before I go, before.... And somehow, in someway, I'm not letting myself do as much as I really can..
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
The Red Pill
More recently, I think I've come to realize reality.
The reality of the working world. That this is how much of my time and life it will consume. That I will ne to put in this much, if I want to achieve proportionate amounts.
You see, I never thought that my job included many of the things that I am currently doing. It has been rather difficult for the last six months to try to get used to the culture here. Or, perhaps that was the excuse that I was giving myself. As a newbie on the job, I was lucky and was given only a portion of the responsibilities of that of a regular.
When January rolled around the corner, lo and behold, i was not longer treated as a newbie. With six months under the belt, I was given the full responsibility. And, boy, did that shock, stun and surprise me all at the same time. I felt overwhelmed and flabbergasted with all the responsibilities that were expected of me. Note, not even something that was considered beyond expectations... this was just meeting it.
I know that I've been fighting it. Fighting the different working hours, the holidays that we did/did not get, the different customs, the different responsibilities, etc, etc., etc....
Somewhere ... the red pill dawned on me, subconsciously, perhaps. Somewhere and somehow, I stopped fighting it. I didn't want to feel bitter and bicker about it anymore. I was a bit sick of complaining. I found that I enjoyed myself much more. I put more of myself into doing what I did. Put more thought into planning and executing the things that I'd planned.
the last few weeks have been really crazy. I'm finding it hard to find the energy to study after coming home from a 12,13 hour day at work.
Experienced a lot of first-times this year. My first time preparing a lecture for 800 students. My first time making an announcement in front of 800 students. I must have rehearsed it at least 5 times before going to bed, and another 5 times before presenting it. It was nerve-wracking. It's been a long time since I've felt those pangs of nervousness speaking in public, but after speaking for a few a little while, it seemed so natural. I am happy that it went well.
I think I'm reaching the point where I feel like I'm about to break, but I only find that I don't. Instead, i get stretched. The more I take on, the more I'll be able to take on. it's scary.
I feel like i'm about to burn out, but I find that I don't.
rest is almost around the corner. June is coming.
I can't wait to go home.
The reality of the working world. That this is how much of my time and life it will consume. That I will ne to put in this much, if I want to achieve proportionate amounts.
You see, I never thought that my job included many of the things that I am currently doing. It has been rather difficult for the last six months to try to get used to the culture here. Or, perhaps that was the excuse that I was giving myself. As a newbie on the job, I was lucky and was given only a portion of the responsibilities of that of a regular.
When January rolled around the corner, lo and behold, i was not longer treated as a newbie. With six months under the belt, I was given the full responsibility. And, boy, did that shock, stun and surprise me all at the same time. I felt overwhelmed and flabbergasted with all the responsibilities that were expected of me. Note, not even something that was considered beyond expectations... this was just meeting it.
I know that I've been fighting it. Fighting the different working hours, the holidays that we did/did not get, the different customs, the different responsibilities, etc, etc., etc....
Somewhere ... the red pill dawned on me, subconsciously, perhaps. Somewhere and somehow, I stopped fighting it. I didn't want to feel bitter and bicker about it anymore. I was a bit sick of complaining. I found that I enjoyed myself much more. I put more of myself into doing what I did. Put more thought into planning and executing the things that I'd planned.
the last few weeks have been really crazy. I'm finding it hard to find the energy to study after coming home from a 12,13 hour day at work.
Experienced a lot of first-times this year. My first time preparing a lecture for 800 students. My first time making an announcement in front of 800 students. I must have rehearsed it at least 5 times before going to bed, and another 5 times before presenting it. It was nerve-wracking. It's been a long time since I've felt those pangs of nervousness speaking in public, but after speaking for a few a little while, it seemed so natural. I am happy that it went well.
I think I'm reaching the point where I feel like I'm about to break, but I only find that I don't. Instead, i get stretched. The more I take on, the more I'll be able to take on. it's scary.
I feel like i'm about to burn out, but I find that I don't.
rest is almost around the corner. June is coming.
I can't wait to go home.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
New School Year
Quite pumped up and excited about this new year,
and looking forward to it!
Hope things will continue to go well!
and looking forward to it!
Hope things will continue to go well!
Monday, February 1, 2010
A Long Time Coming
It's been a long time, but I think I am finally ready.
There are still many things that I have to come to terms with, things that I'm not quite clear of or sure even exist. The only way I can think of to describe it is: it's like knowing that there is something going on, not know where or how, or what it is that is going on...but then someone describes exactly what you are going through. And, the pieces fall in place. The pieces fit so closely and the picture becomes so clear! That's exactly how I feel.
And, I feel that I am ready. Ready to take the first baby step. The first of many.
I can't wait to see how it goes.
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Being creative...
Here's a spur of creativity, I'd like to think...
Sitting in a warmly lit room, the sun at my back pours in to fill,
Waves of lounge and jazz reverberate to a familiar pulse
Images of people and faces as they walk by, talk by reflect the urgency of a need to ...
Thought glaze over my head like a razor grazes over skin. It's like an image that flashes by, but leaving deep imprints.
So wanting to hold on, yet helplessly watching it be let go...
It's like stretching out your hand to grasp, those dancing stars of your mind. They are so close, so near, yet so ever unreachable.
Sitting still, legs crosses, propped on the immovable sofa
The busy bustle continues around. The world spins endlessly about a still point.
Different shapes, different sizes, move toward and past.
High sounds, low sounds, dance about all around.
Little bells ringing, tiny mouths giggling, I wonder what it's like to be an infant again.
People talking, texting, typing.
In flips, in flops, in flats, in talls.
Things just don't stop.
I wonder but for a moment, what it would be like, to step away. To be outside. To turn back and take a look behind.
What if this world stopped spinning just for a moment, if it froze for me to explore it, what would I find?
The things to do, the choices to pick, decisions to make and sacrifices at stake...
Where will all this lead to? Someplace beyond. Someplace further.
To Randomness and Rowdy-ness, Laughter and lovelyness. Things feel that much better.
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!
Sitting in a warmly lit room, the sun at my back pours in to fill,
Waves of lounge and jazz reverberate to a familiar pulse
Images of people and faces as they walk by, talk by reflect the urgency of a need to ...
Thought glaze over my head like a razor grazes over skin. It's like an image that flashes by, but leaving deep imprints.
So wanting to hold on, yet helplessly watching it be let go...
It's like stretching out your hand to grasp, those dancing stars of your mind. They are so close, so near, yet so ever unreachable.
Sitting still, legs crosses, propped on the immovable sofa
The busy bustle continues around. The world spins endlessly about a still point.
Different shapes, different sizes, move toward and past.
High sounds, low sounds, dance about all around.
Little bells ringing, tiny mouths giggling, I wonder what it's like to be an infant again.
People talking, texting, typing.
In flips, in flops, in flats, in talls.
Things just don't stop.
I wonder but for a moment, what it would be like, to step away. To be outside. To turn back and take a look behind.
What if this world stopped spinning just for a moment, if it froze for me to explore it, what would I find?
The things to do, the choices to pick, decisions to make and sacrifices at stake...
Where will all this lead to? Someplace beyond. Someplace further.
To Randomness and Rowdy-ness, Laughter and lovelyness. Things feel that much better.
Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Dad visiting this weekend
My dad's coming for the weekend!!
Thinking of taking him to a few places around town:
Clarke Quay (we need to do the bum boat)
Geylang (for food and durian)
Vivocity for the view
Chinatown
Little india
Raffles
City Hall
Lau Sat Pat
We'll see if we can fit everything in the short time that he'll be here!
Thinking of taking him to a few places around town:
Clarke Quay (we need to do the bum boat)
Geylang (for food and durian)
Vivocity for the view
Chinatown
Little india
Raffles
City Hall
Lau Sat Pat
We'll see if we can fit everything in the short time that he'll be here!
Friday, January 15, 2010
The Story of Stuff
The Story of Stuff
Posted using ShareThis
Got this through an e-mail Chris sent me, there's a pretty good flash video about 'stuff', all the stuff that we have and the stuff that we use. I think it's a really excellent video for students to watch during an environment lesson.
"Slow Death by Rubber Duck" is a Canadian Bestseller and another source where we can learn more about stuff.
At the same time that it's made me aware of how the stuff that we use pollutes us, I'm feeling a bit skeptical (and perhaps 'hopeless' is a better word) about change. I would love for the world to change... but my vision of that was shattered a while ago. I used to think that we could eradicate poverty. But I've lost hope in that. maybe there's too much greed in this world. But even if there isn't, all it takes is just one bad apple...
During training today, the facilitator mentioned that the main aim of community service groups is termination. After mulling over that a bit, I agree with him (maybe not for ALL organizations, but for many). We initiate charity organizations, non-profit organizations because we see a need for them. A few examples are: Let'sSTOPAIDS, Cancer Foundations, homeless shelters... these all aim to help people who are in need and I do think that they want to terminate whatever is causing the problem. To: StopAids, Cure Cancer, and get people off the streets.
We have a universal education right by UNESCO to help eradicate poverty... so many things are put in place in hopes of stopping the harm that humans have caused. But do all these solutions address the root of the problems?
I know that a lot of people are trying to right many wrongs. A lot of people are doing a lot of good out there, and I believe that their efforts are helping and in part in the making of making this world a better place.... but there are big stakeholders that don't budge. There are so many examples of such stakeholders and as cynical as I am, our "good-doing" are midgets compared to the big giants.
Every time I want to make a change and initiate something, I hit this block.
Maybe I need a little more faith. Just a little more faith.......
Posted using ShareThis
Got this through an e-mail Chris sent me, there's a pretty good flash video about 'stuff', all the stuff that we have and the stuff that we use. I think it's a really excellent video for students to watch during an environment lesson.
"Slow Death by Rubber Duck" is a Canadian Bestseller and another source where we can learn more about stuff.
At the same time that it's made me aware of how the stuff that we use pollutes us, I'm feeling a bit skeptical (and perhaps 'hopeless' is a better word) about change. I would love for the world to change... but my vision of that was shattered a while ago. I used to think that we could eradicate poverty. But I've lost hope in that. maybe there's too much greed in this world. But even if there isn't, all it takes is just one bad apple...
During training today, the facilitator mentioned that the main aim of community service groups is termination. After mulling over that a bit, I agree with him (maybe not for ALL organizations, but for many). We initiate charity organizations, non-profit organizations because we see a need for them. A few examples are: Let'sSTOPAIDS, Cancer Foundations, homeless shelters... these all aim to help people who are in need and I do think that they want to terminate whatever is causing the problem. To: StopAids, Cure Cancer, and get people off the streets.
We have a universal education right by UNESCO to help eradicate poverty... so many things are put in place in hopes of stopping the harm that humans have caused. But do all these solutions address the root of the problems?
I know that a lot of people are trying to right many wrongs. A lot of people are doing a lot of good out there, and I believe that their efforts are helping and in part in the making of making this world a better place.... but there are big stakeholders that don't budge. There are so many examples of such stakeholders and as cynical as I am, our "good-doing" are midgets compared to the big giants.
Every time I want to make a change and initiate something, I hit this block.
Maybe I need a little more faith. Just a little more faith.......
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Getting ready...
Alright, big day tomorrow!
A bit nervous, a bit jumpy for the big day!
:)
I guess it's a good thing.
A bit nervous, a bit jumpy for the big day!
:)
I guess it's a good thing.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Another Year, A Fresh Start
I guess this is the really neat part about my job.
Every year is a fresh page, a new start.
This year will be different. It seems as if it is my "real" year. I get to start right from the start (opposed to in the middle as I did last year).
I meet them on Monday. I'm nervous, and I know it's normal. For my anyways.
After stepping out of the boardroom today, I felt overwhelmed. I know that it was just a feeling, and that it was from the nature of the situation: an information overload. It was, in a way, necessary for everyone to understand everything in a short period of time, because that was the only time left for information transfer. Now that it's a few hours and a movie later, I feel a bit better.
I have a better understanding of where things fit in on the timeline.
It will be busy, sometimes crazy busy, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the connections and bonds that I will make, the new friendships, and rekindling the oldships.
Every year is a fresh page, a new start.
This year will be different. It seems as if it is my "real" year. I get to start right from the start (opposed to in the middle as I did last year).
I meet them on Monday. I'm nervous, and I know it's normal. For my anyways.
After stepping out of the boardroom today, I felt overwhelmed. I know that it was just a feeling, and that it was from the nature of the situation: an information overload. It was, in a way, necessary for everyone to understand everything in a short period of time, because that was the only time left for information transfer. Now that it's a few hours and a movie later, I feel a bit better.
I have a better understanding of where things fit in on the timeline.
It will be busy, sometimes crazy busy, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to the connections and bonds that I will make, the new friendships, and rekindling the oldships.
"Invictus"
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
I can imagine a lot of reviews, blogs, tweets and writings about this poem, about this movie.
I watched it with a colleague earlier this afternoon after learning that Invictus is about Nelson Mandella and South Africa. I also walked into the theatre asking myself how I'd be able to link this movie to the subject that I teach. I learned something today, and I'm glad I sat for the show. I think that the movie acts as a good starting place for those who don't really know about the political situation back in the 1990s in South Africa (i.e. myself). Not to mention it's also a good way to learn a bit about Rugby (I learned that you score 3 points kicking a ball between the posts - so that's what the posts are for!). I also think this movie would be a good one to show students to get them thinking about the racial tensions and why Mandella did certain things (to eas the tension, etc). This movie does cover quite a spectrum of topics that we cover in class, ranging from Politics to Prejudice.
Think I might just make a DVD recommendation to the school. We'll see.
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley
I can imagine a lot of reviews, blogs, tweets and writings about this poem, about this movie.
I watched it with a colleague earlier this afternoon after learning that Invictus is about Nelson Mandella and South Africa. I also walked into the theatre asking myself how I'd be able to link this movie to the subject that I teach. I learned something today, and I'm glad I sat for the show. I think that the movie acts as a good starting place for those who don't really know about the political situation back in the 1990s in South Africa (i.e. myself). Not to mention it's also a good way to learn a bit about Rugby (I learned that you score 3 points kicking a ball between the posts - so that's what the posts are for!). I also think this movie would be a good one to show students to get them thinking about the racial tensions and why Mandella did certain things (to eas the tension, etc). This movie does cover quite a spectrum of topics that we cover in class, ranging from Politics to Prejudice.
Think I might just make a DVD recommendation to the school. We'll see.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Memiors of a Geisha
Suyuri.
Yet again, I chance upon another movie that I had wanted to watch for a very long time. This time, the movie sitting in my room for the last month, under the demise of another name unknown to me. I hadn't realized this DVD set was that of a Geisha's! It was a good watch. In between my trying to figure out where I recognize each actor from, it was a cute story. I wonder if the Geisha were really like that. If the customs were as they were portrayed in the movie. I suppose I'll have to watch the 2nd DVD, the one about their production (and behind the scenes). Since I bought the Japanese version, I can't read the titles of the different chapters, means I get to watch the whole thing!
So much i want to read, watch and indulge myself in!
Life really is a bit short to fit all these things in. My infamous question: why must I choose? Why can't I have both? (In this case, it's why can't I do it all?! The only answer i've received from that so far is: because cest la vie.)
Yet again, I chance upon another movie that I had wanted to watch for a very long time. This time, the movie sitting in my room for the last month, under the demise of another name unknown to me. I hadn't realized this DVD set was that of a Geisha's! It was a good watch. In between my trying to figure out where I recognize each actor from, it was a cute story. I wonder if the Geisha were really like that. If the customs were as they were portrayed in the movie. I suppose I'll have to watch the 2nd DVD, the one about their production (and behind the scenes). Since I bought the Japanese version, I can't read the titles of the different chapters, means I get to watch the whole thing!
So much i want to read, watch and indulge myself in!
Life really is a bit short to fit all these things in. My infamous question: why must I choose? Why can't I have both? (In this case, it's why can't I do it all?! The only answer i've received from that so far is: because cest la vie.)
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