Pain. and death.

These two seem to come hand in hand. pain not necessarily begets death, but death begets pain.

These two things are also the two things that scare me the most and leave me feeling vulnerable and helpless. What can I do to ease the pain? What can I do to take it away? I feel such a great sense of helplessness.

Death. I know that it's a fact of life, and that it is inevitable... but, I don't want to face it. I'm scared of losing. Scared of regret. Scared of the unknown. I wonder if this is a natural response, a natural reaction. I would like to hope that other people think the same. Although, I know that there are people who choose to not indulge in such self-delusion. The pangs of loss, the gripes of anguish, who can subside you when you lash out your sword? Not even the bravest soldier, the strongest fighter, the cruelest or most ruthless can withstand your power of loss. Even they buckle and fall to their knees, asking for mercy to spare them of the pain of such agonizing sorrow.

O terrorizer, how your dark fumes reek from your skin, surrounding and choking the air.
Murky is the way. Hazy is the day. Dark is the path upon which your shadow is cast, from the misty glow of the dying sun. Long is road. the lonely road. Upon which one will walk. alone.

Many are at the sides, gazing upon you while you tread each step. The pebbles drag at your feet, the mud tries to suck you in deep. As you walk, you sense the fumes. They swirl around you, completely surround you. They smell of ash, and feel dense upon your sweaty skin. Black is the color, dark is the air. You feel the swirls, they are closing in. Wrapping around your body, enclosing, enclosing. The hazy dakr mist swirls faster and faster. around and around. until you see nothing. it is dark. it looks empty.


but of course, after you coem to a realization that the darkness is your eyes slammed shut, unwilling to open to the reailty of this world, you slowly open your eyes and see light. beams and beams of light that glow as the morning sun. You inhale and breathe deep, taking gulps of fresh, spring air. It was all in your head. Because you were unwilling to accept.